Tonight I'm so distracted and disturbed.And I'm the one who caused these mess. Ya,I have a self-conflict right now..most of my frens know that I'm a soft-hearted person.. I'm the one who u will rarely hear the word 'No'.. I'm the one who care too much about others' problems compared to mine.. the problems are:
1) people keep using me
2) I'm the one who will suffer later
3) I'm too sensitive
4) I'm the one who conceal my own feelings
(many more,but I don't want to tell everything)
ya,I can't deny that..sometimes, I want to be like this
1) to be respected and scared of
2) appreciation from all
3) people to obey me
4) people can't even hurt me externally and internally
(ya,there are more..but let it be)
people keep telling me to stop from to be too kind..they say, I should not let people from using myself, I should not be too sensitive and all that.. but let me tell u this, I'm myself..and let me be my own Eizzat.. No one can change that.. ya, i know that my kindness is my weakness..but I should control it more..I hate people who is engulf with anger, being so 'lepas cakap', feeling that he/she is the perfect one, and always in bad mood...
Sometimes,Our weakness could be our strength, and our strength could be our weakness too..
ok now, also, I'm haunted by my past..also being haunted by my present too.. enough to say, sometimes I can't accept the 'Eizzat' I have become now.. compared to the 'old Eizzat', I'm totally different.. I'm worried if this new Eizzat can't be like the old Eizzat anymore.. both Eizzat have different memories,enough with sweet and sour of it.. and I still confuse, which Eizzat will remain in the next 10 years..erghh.. I need someone now..=(
27 November 2010
16 November 2010
hermm
When I woke up this morning, I felt thankful and guilty..
Thankful because I still have the opportunity to breath and see this world once more.. Guilty because I didn’t do anything to repay for what He has given me all this time.. To be honest, I really feel that I’m nothing, but a stranger who stranded in the world that He created..I’m much more smaller from a dust if I compare myself with His power and knowledge.. Allahu Akbar..It’s been a long time that I forgotten my creator.. Without him, I’m nobody.. All I have now is His gifts.. Everything in this world happens with His will.. Kun Fa Ya Kun..
Me? I don’t know..As time goes by, I become more reckless and distracted with this world..Ya, earth that full of sins and deeds.. Sometimes, I’ll feel sad for what I’ve done.. For all my sins, all my fault.. I ask myself, when I’m happy, did I remember Him? When I was sad, I’ll find Him.. is this what should I do? Definitely NO!! I gone too far, and I don’t know how to undo that.. Repent? Ya, but it’s not easy.. My iman is not strength enough to do that..I always fall to nafsu and devil’s seduction.. what a muslim suppose to do? I know the answer, but, did I live in this world according to the answer.. 5 rukun Islam, 6 rukun iman, al-sunnah, al-hadis and Al-quran..this should be my policy,my rule, and my guidelines in my life,the guidelines that I should obey..
And know what, most of those things that I mentioned, not much I’ve done..my prayer, my act, my way are totally miserable..Ya Allah,forgive me.. you never abandon me, but I? Because of You, I still able to breath, still able feel love from my parents, still able to have everything that I have..
I’m totally different if I compare my past and my present..I don’t know where is the old Eizzat.. ya, the one who grown up with enough knowledge and awareness..the one who on the right track of the guidelines.. Me now? I have the knowledge, I still have the sense of awareness.. but I’m totally lost, far from the track of my guidelines..
When I writing this, I can’t control my tears…
Dear readers, life is about choices. When we were born, we are clean and everyone is start from zero.. Nobody was born as a sinner, as a killer, as a rapist, as a gay, as a cheater, as a dictator and other bad characters(some people think they are bad,before they know the real story).. and nobody was born as a imam, as a good people, as a fair leader, as a honest person and other good character(sometimes they look good outside,but sometime not inside).. It’s a about choices.. We are the one to chose, what we will be..We are the pilots of our own lifes..we are khalifah in this world.. the world will affect our choices, but that should not be the reason for us to follow the world..Even the world is against us, u should know that He is the one who we should obey,and He has given the guidelines.. Follow the guidelines, and we will be safe here and after.. so readers, choose wisely, what way will u follow..and remember, even we are lost too far,He still with us, and repent will have its door wide open for them who realized their mistakes, the prove that Allah love His followers, no matter who we are, because we are all the same from His sight, we are just like other human being.. designation, wealth, and popularity are meaningless..
I’m not perfect,that’s why I’m writing, for me to remind myself and others too..
(* ignore all my spelling or my grammar mistakes, I writing this honestly)
Thankful because I still have the opportunity to breath and see this world once more.. Guilty because I didn’t do anything to repay for what He has given me all this time.. To be honest, I really feel that I’m nothing, but a stranger who stranded in the world that He created..I’m much more smaller from a dust if I compare myself with His power and knowledge.. Allahu Akbar..It’s been a long time that I forgotten my creator.. Without him, I’m nobody.. All I have now is His gifts.. Everything in this world happens with His will.. Kun Fa Ya Kun..
Me? I don’t know..As time goes by, I become more reckless and distracted with this world..Ya, earth that full of sins and deeds.. Sometimes, I’ll feel sad for what I’ve done.. For all my sins, all my fault.. I ask myself, when I’m happy, did I remember Him? When I was sad, I’ll find Him.. is this what should I do? Definitely NO!! I gone too far, and I don’t know how to undo that.. Repent? Ya, but it’s not easy.. My iman is not strength enough to do that..I always fall to nafsu and devil’s seduction.. what a muslim suppose to do? I know the answer, but, did I live in this world according to the answer.. 5 rukun Islam, 6 rukun iman, al-sunnah, al-hadis and Al-quran..this should be my policy,my rule, and my guidelines in my life,the guidelines that I should obey..
And know what, most of those things that I mentioned, not much I’ve done..my prayer, my act, my way are totally miserable..Ya Allah,forgive me.. you never abandon me, but I? Because of You, I still able to breath, still able feel love from my parents, still able to have everything that I have..
I’m totally different if I compare my past and my present..I don’t know where is the old Eizzat.. ya, the one who grown up with enough knowledge and awareness..the one who on the right track of the guidelines.. Me now? I have the knowledge, I still have the sense of awareness.. but I’m totally lost, far from the track of my guidelines..
When I writing this, I can’t control my tears…
Dear readers, life is about choices. When we were born, we are clean and everyone is start from zero.. Nobody was born as a sinner, as a killer, as a rapist, as a gay, as a cheater, as a dictator and other bad characters(some people think they are bad,before they know the real story).. and nobody was born as a imam, as a good people, as a fair leader, as a honest person and other good character(sometimes they look good outside,but sometime not inside).. It’s a about choices.. We are the one to chose, what we will be..We are the pilots of our own lifes..we are khalifah in this world.. the world will affect our choices, but that should not be the reason for us to follow the world..Even the world is against us, u should know that He is the one who we should obey,and He has given the guidelines.. Follow the guidelines, and we will be safe here and after.. so readers, choose wisely, what way will u follow..and remember, even we are lost too far,He still with us, and repent will have its door wide open for them who realized their mistakes, the prove that Allah love His followers, no matter who we are, because we are all the same from His sight, we are just like other human being.. designation, wealth, and popularity are meaningless..
I’m not perfect,that’s why I’m writing, for me to remind myself and others too..
(* ignore all my spelling or my grammar mistakes, I writing this honestly)
11 November 2010
Swing swing
Here I go again,writing this blog after a month..haha
Ok,not much too say,but I just want to share my experience..
1. Rental House
FYI, currently I've been moved to a new house.. Not because I want to,but I have to. Just to remind you guys, if u are a student (especially to IPTS students), if u decide to use House Agency,please be careful and make a real good choice.. I really really disappointed with my agency right now ( Simple Approach Sdn.Bhd).. they really don't care about the students' virtue.. All they care is about money,money,money.. and I really hate that..My old house looks like a barn, with horrible toilet and destructed kitchen.. then,there was an issue where the owner of my old house decided to sell the house and the owner just planned to do it,not immediately sell the house..come on, if anyone want to sell a house, they will have to go many processes.. and I don't mind if the owner want to sell that house,but I HATE the way of that stupid agency treat the students and the owner.. that house was handed to that agency, to take a good care of it,but the house seems like a hell since it was handed..Just imagine,the agency didn't responsible for what have happened to that house,and they ORDERED the owner to repair it..URGH!! then,I was informed to move to a new house,and they ask me to move before or on 30th October.. the problem? I was in the exam week,how could I move..then,on 25th Oct, I WAS FORCED to move..what the fuck is that!! if u say before 30th, that's mean,at the very least, I have to move on 29th or 30th Oct.And I've planned to move on 29th,because I don't have any transport to move out my things! urghh!! then last 3 days, they scold me because I lock the door of my room,what's wrong is that? I have valuable things in there..
2.A friend of mine
well, I do know a friend, a guy, who really understand me..and he is totally different from others..Ok,his name is Sharizal,but I just call him Ejal,'cause he used to be called like that..I really grateful to have friend like him, who I know incidentally. Enough to be said that,I spent many of my time with him,and please don't take me wrongly.. I'm not as what u think! haha.. He's just too special, he understand me and know me more from other,even we're friend since a brief period.. When I'm happy,he's there..When I sad,he'll be there too.. seems like he's a diamond of diamonds for me..but when there is someone close to us,I can guarantee that we can't afford to lose them..so do I..oh, this a picture of us
3.Study
Just want to say that,last sem I did very very bad..the worst sem ever~!! I can't even study..why? because the lecturers and pressure surround me in college
4.Family
erm,I don't want to tell it,because it's my privacy..but a family,is a family~!
oh, my batt running low,I'll continue later~!!
till we 'meet' again~!!
Ok,not much too say,but I just want to share my experience..
1. Rental House
FYI, currently I've been moved to a new house.. Not because I want to,but I have to. Just to remind you guys, if u are a student (especially to IPTS students), if u decide to use House Agency,please be careful and make a real good choice.. I really really disappointed with my agency right now ( Simple Approach Sdn.Bhd).. they really don't care about the students' virtue.. All they care is about money,money,money.. and I really hate that..My old house looks like a barn, with horrible toilet and destructed kitchen.. then,there was an issue where the owner of my old house decided to sell the house and the owner just planned to do it,not immediately sell the house..come on, if anyone want to sell a house, they will have to go many processes.. and I don't mind if the owner want to sell that house,but I HATE the way of that stupid agency treat the students and the owner.. that house was handed to that agency, to take a good care of it,but the house seems like a hell since it was handed..Just imagine,the agency didn't responsible for what have happened to that house,and they ORDERED the owner to repair it..URGH!! then,I was informed to move to a new house,and they ask me to move before or on 30th October.. the problem? I was in the exam week,how could I move..then,on 25th Oct, I WAS FORCED to move..what the fuck is that!! if u say before 30th, that's mean,at the very least, I have to move on 29th or 30th Oct.And I've planned to move on 29th,because I don't have any transport to move out my things! urghh!! then last 3 days, they scold me because I lock the door of my room,what's wrong is that? I have valuable things in there..
2.A friend of mine
well, I do know a friend, a guy, who really understand me..and he is totally different from others..Ok,his name is Sharizal,but I just call him Ejal,'cause he used to be called like that..I really grateful to have friend like him, who I know incidentally. Enough to be said that,I spent many of my time with him,and please don't take me wrongly.. I'm not as what u think! haha.. He's just too special, he understand me and know me more from other,even we're friend since a brief period.. When I'm happy,he's there..When I sad,he'll be there too.. seems like he's a diamond of diamonds for me..but when there is someone close to us,I can guarantee that we can't afford to lose them..so do I..oh, this a picture of us
3.Study
Just want to say that,last sem I did very very bad..the worst sem ever~!! I can't even study..why? because the lecturers and pressure surround me in college
4.Family
erm,I don't want to tell it,because it's my privacy..but a family,is a family~!
oh, my batt running low,I'll continue later~!!
till we 'meet' again~!!
12 October 2010
change a bit..BM turn
hi~
haha..ok now for this post,I would like to write in Bahasa Melayu.. hehe..
just to let go everything in my mind~
untuk pertama kali,ejat menulis dalam bahasa ibunda ejat sendiri.. skang ni,ejat hanya hendak menulis,apa saja yang ejat nak tulis.. secara jujurnya,sejak kebelakangan ni, ejat mmg slalu tewas kepada sakit yg menyakitkan.. dan bagi mereka yang rapat ngan ejat,mereka slalu risaukan ejat..maaf,takde niat nak sakitkan ati awk2 semua..da sakit,nak wat camne..dan seiring jugak dengan kedatangan sakit2 ni semua, ejat selalu didatangi mimpi2 buruk dan mengarut..melibatkan diri ejat dan mereka2 yang ejat sayang lorh..mcm sesuatu kan? kdg2 prasaan sebegini membuatkn ejat terasa masa utk ejat da singkat..entahlah,perasaan je kot..
dan ejat jugak mengalami krisis diri yang semakin menebal dan kronik..bagi sape yang mengenali ejat,dorg akan fhm la..ejat mmg jenis suke memendam,mendiamkan diri, bersabar dan selalu mengalah..tp kdg2 bile ejat wat macamtu,ramaikan yang ambil kesempatan..bukan la ejat merungut,tapi ye la,kdg2 ejat rasa tension ya amat pulak..
bila ada benda yang melibatkan hati perasaan,ejat mmg tak dapat nak tenangkan diri.. in fact,ya,I'm sensitive..so,please, mind ur manner when with me.. kalo nak cakap hal cinta dan kasih sayang pulak,erm.. compilcated sgt.. with my ex,my current luv n me,myself.. i wish i could share this but no one suit..so let it be..haha!
performance study ejat sem ni,sgt2 teruk! ejat ta dpt nk ckp camne,but I'm sure this sem is my falling era~! urgh,ape la masalah aku ni...=.=
kwn,herm, ya,ejat ta tahan dgn prangai kwn2 yang pentingkan diri.. frankly speaking, ejat BENCI org yang rasa diri dia betol, tanak dengar nasihat org lain,ego, feeling2 'diva',takda sensitivity dan cakap besar! kalo stakat skit2 ejat leh trima,tp kalo da byk sgt,rase sgt2 annoying,becoz later on,ejat yg tension~!! dan lagi satu, ejat bukan jenis yg ckp lepas, dan ejat kalo rase perlu,ejat akan akan ckp elok2..but y? sometimes org ta wat bnde yang same kat ejat..haha,ntahla~
so ejat plak nanti akan berpindah rumah,oh shit! benci sgt! tak sukee!! ejat da slese kat sini(slesa kah?)..last2 kne pindah..mmg la nak pndah ,tp tolong la bagi mase sikit wahai AGENT RUMAH BANGANG!sial tol..
dear lecturers, tolong laa! jgn mengajar sebab nak duit ok! ajar tu elok2 sket..dan tolong la,jangan pilih kasih! ni university,bukan sekolah lagi,plajar2 kesayangan? bullshit! kat university ni, mmg tak boleh nak pilih kasih, dan sdarlah,ramai yang memerhati..bile ditegur,melenting plak kan? sdangkan plajar kesayanganmu itu terang2 la syaitan ya amat! dan kamu dengan mulut kamu yg sial tu lecturer,boleh pegi mati..phm? benci doe! arap ko berambus cpat2,,ko dpan aku,bile mintak tolong,amboih, SOPAN ye..tapi blakang? cam lahanat! ko ngan student sayang ko bole pegi mati..
ade lagi nak tulis,tapi memandangkan mase kat cc ni da nak abes,ejat hentikan..hehe..
till next time!
haha..ok now for this post,I would like to write in Bahasa Melayu.. hehe..
just to let go everything in my mind~
untuk pertama kali,ejat menulis dalam bahasa ibunda ejat sendiri.. skang ni,ejat hanya hendak menulis,apa saja yang ejat nak tulis.. secara jujurnya,sejak kebelakangan ni, ejat mmg slalu tewas kepada sakit yg menyakitkan.. dan bagi mereka yang rapat ngan ejat,mereka slalu risaukan ejat..maaf,takde niat nak sakitkan ati awk2 semua..da sakit,nak wat camne..dan seiring jugak dengan kedatangan sakit2 ni semua, ejat selalu didatangi mimpi2 buruk dan mengarut..melibatkan diri ejat dan mereka2 yang ejat sayang lorh..mcm sesuatu kan? kdg2 prasaan sebegini membuatkn ejat terasa masa utk ejat da singkat..entahlah,perasaan je kot..
dan ejat jugak mengalami krisis diri yang semakin menebal dan kronik..bagi sape yang mengenali ejat,dorg akan fhm la..ejat mmg jenis suke memendam,mendiamkan diri, bersabar dan selalu mengalah..tp kdg2 bile ejat wat macamtu,ramaikan yang ambil kesempatan..bukan la ejat merungut,tapi ye la,kdg2 ejat rasa tension ya amat pulak..
bila ada benda yang melibatkan hati perasaan,ejat mmg tak dapat nak tenangkan diri.. in fact,ya,I'm sensitive..so,please, mind ur manner when with me.. kalo nak cakap hal cinta dan kasih sayang pulak,erm.. compilcated sgt.. with my ex,my current luv n me,myself.. i wish i could share this but no one suit..so let it be..haha!
performance study ejat sem ni,sgt2 teruk! ejat ta dpt nk ckp camne,but I'm sure this sem is my falling era~! urgh,ape la masalah aku ni...=.=
kwn,herm, ya,ejat ta tahan dgn prangai kwn2 yang pentingkan diri.. frankly speaking, ejat BENCI org yang rasa diri dia betol, tanak dengar nasihat org lain,ego, feeling2 'diva',takda sensitivity dan cakap besar! kalo stakat skit2 ejat leh trima,tp kalo da byk sgt,rase sgt2 annoying,becoz later on,ejat yg tension~!! dan lagi satu, ejat bukan jenis yg ckp lepas, dan ejat kalo rase perlu,ejat akan akan ckp elok2..but y? sometimes org ta wat bnde yang same kat ejat..haha,ntahla~
so ejat plak nanti akan berpindah rumah,oh shit! benci sgt! tak sukee!! ejat da slese kat sini(slesa kah?)..last2 kne pindah..mmg la nak pndah ,tp tolong la bagi mase sikit wahai AGENT RUMAH BANGANG!sial tol..
dear lecturers, tolong laa! jgn mengajar sebab nak duit ok! ajar tu elok2 sket..dan tolong la,jangan pilih kasih! ni university,bukan sekolah lagi,plajar2 kesayangan? bullshit! kat university ni, mmg tak boleh nak pilih kasih, dan sdarlah,ramai yang memerhati..bile ditegur,melenting plak kan? sdangkan plajar kesayanganmu itu terang2 la syaitan ya amat! dan kamu dengan mulut kamu yg sial tu lecturer,boleh pegi mati..phm? benci doe! arap ko berambus cpat2,,ko dpan aku,bile mintak tolong,amboih, SOPAN ye..tapi blakang? cam lahanat! ko ngan student sayang ko bole pegi mati..
ade lagi nak tulis,tapi memandangkan mase kat cc ni da nak abes,ejat hentikan..hehe..
till next time!
05 October 2010
the only beginning
I understand that I'm a different person now..well,people do change. What I can say now,I'm a bit stressful right now.. for some people,I'm a soft-kind-hearted person,however not everyone know that I'm a person with high remembrance and I can be an appreciative person, or a vengeful person..
for a situation right now, all the things happened around me lately were caused by me..I can't stop blaming my self..ya,I'm annoying,I admit it.. Right now,I'm the new ejat,it's just a slight different from the old one.. the only different is my appearance,my attitude..but inside,I'm still the same..
People around me keep using me,n I know that too..People be nice with for some reasons.. It's something for something..
When I was young,I learn that I have to respect everyone,in order to be respected.. My parents taught me to be nice,humble,talk nicely and so whatever thinggy.. ya,till now,I do the same,but no one gonna do the same way I does..
To be honest, I hate that..I need a sincere frenship,relationship and partnership..
I dunno how long I'm going to be like this,but I can see I'm dying because of this..
several people will come and accuse me for something that I didn't do.. I'm trying to take care and comfort everyone,but no one understand.. Now with the mysterious illness with me,I can't deny I'm stressful..the only person that I have is only ejal.. ok,ejal is special to me..He always there when I need someone.. For now,he's the only one I trust and believed.. I see his sincerity.. Now,the other problem is about ejal too.. I know,I'm just a burden to him,but still,he's there for me.. and I know,not all with us, there some against us.. that's y I told him, I didn't give any profit or advantage to be fren with, but he deny it..He told me,stop blaming myself, stop thinking bout all dat stuff.. and the way he treat me,to be honest, NO ONE ever treat me like that before.. and I can't stop my tears when I can do nothing to help him when he's in trouble..ejal, thanx for becoming the colour of my life.. u r now one of them who I will never forget till the end of time.. =)
for a situation right now, all the things happened around me lately were caused by me..I can't stop blaming my self..ya,I'm annoying,I admit it.. Right now,I'm the new ejat,it's just a slight different from the old one.. the only different is my appearance,my attitude..but inside,I'm still the same..
People around me keep using me,n I know that too..People be nice with for some reasons.. It's something for something..
When I was young,I learn that I have to respect everyone,in order to be respected.. My parents taught me to be nice,humble,talk nicely and so whatever thinggy.. ya,till now,I do the same,but no one gonna do the same way I does..
To be honest, I hate that..I need a sincere frenship,relationship and partnership..
I dunno how long I'm going to be like this,but I can see I'm dying because of this..
several people will come and accuse me for something that I didn't do.. I'm trying to take care and comfort everyone,but no one understand.. Now with the mysterious illness with me,I can't deny I'm stressful..the only person that I have is only ejal.. ok,ejal is special to me..He always there when I need someone.. For now,he's the only one I trust and believed.. I see his sincerity.. Now,the other problem is about ejal too.. I know,I'm just a burden to him,but still,he's there for me.. and I know,not all with us, there some against us.. that's y I told him, I didn't give any profit or advantage to be fren with, but he deny it..He told me,stop blaming myself, stop thinking bout all dat stuff.. and the way he treat me,to be honest, NO ONE ever treat me like that before.. and I can't stop my tears when I can do nothing to help him when he's in trouble..ejal, thanx for becoming the colour of my life.. u r now one of them who I will never forget till the end of time.. =)
13 September 2010
About the death of Datuk Sosilawati.. and how will our world be safe again?!
Ok now..I'm quite sure that almost all Malaysians know about the death of Datuk Sosilawati Lawiya and 3 others..
What could we say about that? well,we can't deny that nowadays, the people in this world now starting to become crazy, become a hunter and hunted, like million years ago..
erm,ya.. the murder of Datuk Sosilawati just too mean.. Too cruel and should be taken lightly..
The cause of the murder?Nothing else.. It's all about money,wealth and power.. Ya,it is true that Datuk Sosilawati was a successful woman,but she worked for it..
And I'm totally sick and tired of these murder cases.. Since i was young till today, almost everyday I will heard about these.. From Mona Fendi,to Altantuya Shaaribu, now Datuk Sosilawati..
back about Datuk Sosilawati,
Now, consider the temerity of the party that could order the killing of four individuals, one of them well known, and just make the bodies disappear.
Some clout there. Or should we assume that practice makes perfect. Rumours are rife…but let’s not go there just yet. Whatever said, I think the police did its job…and this is pretty fast.
The families of the dead must be quite distraught right now. My condolences go to them.
And we Malaysians..just hope that this case will meet it's exit soon.. and pray that there are no more cruel,mean and pathetic murder cases anymore...lets have a peace Malaysia~!
What could we say about that? well,we can't deny that nowadays, the people in this world now starting to become crazy, become a hunter and hunted, like million years ago..
erm,ya.. the murder of Datuk Sosilawati just too mean.. Too cruel and should be taken lightly..
The cause of the murder?Nothing else.. It's all about money,wealth and power.. Ya,it is true that Datuk Sosilawati was a successful woman,but she worked for it..
And I'm totally sick and tired of these murder cases.. Since i was young till today, almost everyday I will heard about these.. From Mona Fendi,to Altantuya Shaaribu, now Datuk Sosilawati..
back about Datuk Sosilawati,
Now, consider the temerity of the party that could order the killing of four individuals, one of them well known, and just make the bodies disappear.
Some clout there. Or should we assume that practice makes perfect. Rumours are rife…but let’s not go there just yet. Whatever said, I think the police did its job…and this is pretty fast.
The families of the dead must be quite distraught right now. My condolences go to them.
And we Malaysians..just hope that this case will meet it's exit soon.. and pray that there are no more cruel,mean and pathetic murder cases anymore...lets have a peace Malaysia~!
12 September 2010
I'm back.. after 5 months?!
Haha..yup,that's true.. I finally sit in front of my lappy and writing this blog again..today is the 3rd day of Eid month..2.01 a.m
ok,now for the real deal..
Throughout these 6 months, there a lot of things happened to me.. Let me recall back~
someday in May
- I had a fight with my roommate, thus causing he himself to moved out from our rental house..It wasn't my fault,but not he's fault either..now,our relationship are just so cold
- I got a part time job at Golden Screen Cinemas(GSC) at One Utama,for weekends only
14.6.10
- I went to University Malaya (UM) to meet my gf (now ex-gf),elifa..Eventually, it's her birthday.. Just to let u know..even it was a short dating, trust me, I was really happy to see her again after 3 months we didn't meet at all..even we met at UM only,I guess that's enough for me..even I was a bit disappointed,but nevermind..I have to respect her needs..
23.6.10
-it was the beginning of something new..only some peoples know about it.
7.7.10
- The most painful day in my life ever.. I broke with elifa..we end up our relationship.. Elifa is my 1st ever girlfriend, & when she decide to end our relationship,nothing more I could do..The feeling,urghh, it was so terrible.. I felt like I've been pummeled down.. I don't know why,but 1 thing for sure.. we are finished..nothing to regret,it's her decision.
8.8.10
-I met someone in Shah Alam at Sec 17..we know each other through Facebook.. I describe this date as diamond.. why? just let me,myself know about it..
22.8.10
-also, I will remember this date till forever~ the unification of 2 souls into 1..
=)
29.8.10
- theme song : my first kiss - 3Oh3! feat. Kesha
4.9.10
- I and Ejal had an accident on the road at sec.17 shah alam..My 1st ever road accident.
7.9.10
- I lost the V , but feel ur L..
(only who involved in this incident know about it..=P)
10.9.10
-the Eid.. but seems like this is the worst Eid ever for me..and I'm so sad..
well, I guess that's all for now..
so seems like my life is a bit miserable,but I will never ever give up!
ok,now for the real deal..
Throughout these 6 months, there a lot of things happened to me.. Let me recall back~
someday in May
- I had a fight with my roommate, thus causing he himself to moved out from our rental house..It wasn't my fault,but not he's fault either..now,our relationship are just so cold
- I got a part time job at Golden Screen Cinemas(GSC) at One Utama,for weekends only
14.6.10
- I went to University Malaya (UM) to meet my gf (now ex-gf),elifa..Eventually, it's her birthday.. Just to let u know..even it was a short dating, trust me, I was really happy to see her again after 3 months we didn't meet at all..even we met at UM only,I guess that's enough for me..even I was a bit disappointed,but nevermind..I have to respect her needs..
23.6.10
-it was the beginning of something new..only some peoples know about it.
7.7.10
- The most painful day in my life ever.. I broke with elifa..we end up our relationship.. Elifa is my 1st ever girlfriend, & when she decide to end our relationship,nothing more I could do..The feeling,urghh, it was so terrible.. I felt like I've been pummeled down.. I don't know why,but 1 thing for sure.. we are finished..nothing to regret,it's her decision.
8.8.10
-I met someone in Shah Alam at Sec 17..we know each other through Facebook.. I describe this date as diamond.. why? just let me,myself know about it..
22.8.10
-also, I will remember this date till forever~ the unification of 2 souls into 1..
=)
29.8.10
- theme song : my first kiss - 3Oh3! feat. Kesha
4.9.10
- I and Ejal had an accident on the road at sec.17 shah alam..My 1st ever road accident.
7.9.10
- I lost the V , but feel ur L..
(only who involved in this incident know about it..=P)
10.9.10
-the Eid.. but seems like this is the worst Eid ever for me..and I'm so sad..
well, I guess that's all for now..
so seems like my life is a bit miserable,but I will never ever give up!
15 April 2010
another twist of my fate
well,after almost 1 month of absent,now I'm back to this blog..
During that time,I have experienced so much obstacles and opportunity.
Well, last february, I just have my 1st ever relationship anniversary with a girl Nurul Elifa. She is my 1st lover for me.. Now,after a year, I guess I should be more careful about our relationship. Also, recently I just got a new laptop from my parents and yes,it was a surprise.I was so excited for this gift and I hope it can be a great momentum for my studies at my university.. I also have been chosen to the Project Manager for the trip to the Parliament..
Also,I just finished my mid-term examination, and honestly,that was ultra hard.. I still don't know my result,but I can feel that it won't be really good.. anyway thank a lot to my friends who always be with me to study together.Recently, my health science's lecturer has been switched with a new lecturer, and the new one just to.. errghh! don't know how to describe her.. my motorcycle also quite troublesome recently, luckily I just got my salary for working at Sepang F1 Circuit..So,I can repair some parts of my motorcycle..My house at Shah Alam just too 'comfortable' for me.. I think the house are filled with predators.. haha.. only me can understand that..
Ouch, my writing has become badder than before.. I guess I really need to have some exercise.
During that time,I have experienced so much obstacles and opportunity.
Well, last february, I just have my 1st ever relationship anniversary with a girl Nurul Elifa. She is my 1st lover for me.. Now,after a year, I guess I should be more careful about our relationship. Also, recently I just got a new laptop from my parents and yes,it was a surprise.I was so excited for this gift and I hope it can be a great momentum for my studies at my university.. I also have been chosen to the Project Manager for the trip to the Parliament..
Also,I just finished my mid-term examination, and honestly,that was ultra hard.. I still don't know my result,but I can feel that it won't be really good.. anyway thank a lot to my friends who always be with me to study together.Recently, my health science's lecturer has been switched with a new lecturer, and the new one just to.. errghh! don't know how to describe her.. my motorcycle also quite troublesome recently, luckily I just got my salary for working at Sepang F1 Circuit..So,I can repair some parts of my motorcycle..My house at Shah Alam just too 'comfortable' for me.. I think the house are filled with predators.. haha.. only me can understand that..
Ouch, my writing has become badder than before.. I guess I really need to have some exercise.
01 March 2010
Target vs mission!
Now,I'm almost 2 months with MSU.. So far,I still can follow MSU's educational stream.. By the end of March,I will face my first test, Mid-Semester test.. wow,I don't know what going to happen..but I hope I can do much better than what I've got at TPMC before.. My lecturers are at the best of what they do, and I guess now its all depend on me,either I want to go for it,or not.. yes,my mission here just to have a fantastic result,so I can proceed for MBBS program later..
Now,in semester 1,I'll have an event,alongside with all FMS students.. And our mission to collect some profit for charity. We choose to have a musical drama event. And we don't know if we can achieve this target.. That's mean,we will have some critical target here,as charity is one of the event that difficult to attract people. All we have to do is giving the very best of effort on it. But this event will affect my mission too.. But if I manage my time,it wont be a problem,I guess..
Now,in semester 1,I'll have an event,alongside with all FMS students.. And our mission to collect some profit for charity. We choose to have a musical drama event. And we don't know if we can achieve this target.. That's mean,we will have some critical target here,as charity is one of the event that difficult to attract people. All we have to do is giving the very best of effort on it. But this event will affect my mission too.. But if I manage my time,it wont be a problem,I guess..
20 February 2010
Friends or foes?
Undoubtedly, friends are one of the most important thing in our life. We always meet our friends in our daily life,thus they may affect our life,sometimes. Some of them are close with us,others may just a friend. Its not that easy to have a trusted and loyal friends. But among of these friends, some of them are having problems with us.Maybe they can't accept our behaviors,attitudes and personality,so that's why we should suit ourselves whenever we go to a new place. But,instead of telling us the truth,they tell to any other friends or people about our weakness and badness,and of course,they do it secretly behind our back. So,the first thing come in our mind,we might say that they are backstabbers and hypocrite.
But somehow,we must always think about the positive side. We must know what actually are bothering them.It would be stupid if they say they hate us because of nothing.Actually,I've already experience this situation,and I know how its feel. Sometimes we should muhasabah ourselves. We are humans,they are no chance in hell that human may escape from doing any mistakes in their life. and of course,we can't satisfy everyone's feeling. So,that's why me must look at ourselves back. Throw away the badness,take the positive one.
So,friends or foes? It doesn't make any sense. We should be forgivable,well. even the Prophet Muhammad forgive his ummah.
Arh! Oh my god! My assignments! Better be hurry~!!
But somehow,we must always think about the positive side. We must know what actually are bothering them.It would be stupid if they say they hate us because of nothing.Actually,I've already experience this situation,and I know how its feel. Sometimes we should muhasabah ourselves. We are humans,they are no chance in hell that human may escape from doing any mistakes in their life. and of course,we can't satisfy everyone's feeling. So,that's why me must look at ourselves back. Throw away the badness,take the positive one.
So,friends or foes? It doesn't make any sense. We should be forgivable,well. even the Prophet Muhammad forgive his ummah.
Arh! Oh my god! My assignments! Better be hurry~!!
15 February 2010
Conflict
Conflicts is a must I guess..In our life,I'm quite sure about it.. It could be conflicts in family,conflicts among friends and maybe with your 'game'..heh..
Well,as I can see now,my friends are having conflicts with each others.. In my opinion,
its simply because of jealousy,hatred,misunderstanding and selfish.. but conflicts are rubbish,as it can destroy the friendship that we have build before.. If we have some problems,please say it,discuss it.. simple right? ouh,one more..say/discuss it with a nice and proper way.. we as Malaysians are known with 'budi bahasa' right?
But what about conflicts in a family?
Seriously it could be a disaster..to be honest,it happened to my family before and sometimes we still feel its consequences..
well,about that 'game', the key just be honest,loyal and never find others.. give and take situations should not be taken lightly.. Betrayal is just too hurt.. but sometimes, loyalty is a poison..
thats all for now
Well,as I can see now,my friends are having conflicts with each others.. In my opinion,
its simply because of jealousy,hatred,misunderstanding and selfish.. but conflicts are rubbish,as it can destroy the friendship that we have build before.. If we have some problems,please say it,discuss it.. simple right? ouh,one more..say/discuss it with a nice and proper way.. we as Malaysians are known with 'budi bahasa' right?
But what about conflicts in a family?
Seriously it could be a disaster..to be honest,it happened to my family before and sometimes we still feel its consequences..
well,about that 'game', the key just be honest,loyal and never find others.. give and take situations should not be taken lightly.. Betrayal is just too hurt.. but sometimes, loyalty is a poison..
thats all for now
29 January 2010
Time To Play The 'Game"
ouch..owh,ya.. hi again~!
Only now I can write a new post...I really don't have so much time to write it..
Well,I don't know if my english getting better or badder,well,I think I should try..we learn mistakes right? haha
So,what should I share? herm,owh ya.. About my new world,my new environment, my new 'army', and my new shelter.. On 11st January 2010,I went to MSU for my registration. The 1st thing in my schedule was the Orientation Week.. ya,its just too bored.. the best day of the orientation part was the last day =) Kassim Selamat's parody? haha..
then,8th February 2010,my 1st class start.. in this class,I guess I am the one who is really 'uncontrollable'.. haha.. I'll be in the group B for FMS(Foundation in Medical Science?) and there are some friends who (i dont know if they willingly to accept me..hahaha) are close to me in that class like paan,akmal,tina n hunny kowt.. haha.. others? dont know yet..still new ma..ekekeke
argh..what else to write eh? dats all 'kowt'.. haha..
see u later..
=.=
Only now I can write a new post...I really don't have so much time to write it..
Well,I don't know if my english getting better or badder,well,I think I should try..we learn mistakes right? haha
So,what should I share? herm,owh ya.. About my new world,my new environment, my new 'army', and my new shelter.. On 11st January 2010,I went to MSU for my registration. The 1st thing in my schedule was the Orientation Week.. ya,its just too bored.. the best day of the orientation part was the last day =) Kassim Selamat's parody? haha..
then,8th February 2010,my 1st class start.. in this class,I guess I am the one who is really 'uncontrollable'.. haha.. I'll be in the group B for FMS(Foundation in Medical Science?) and there are some friends who (i dont know if they willingly to accept me..hahaha) are close to me in that class like paan,akmal,tina n hunny kowt.. haha.. others? dont know yet..still new ma..ekekeke
argh..what else to write eh? dats all 'kowt'.. haha..
see u later..
=.=
04 January 2010
Am I Ready?
WWE Superstars,Degeneration-X keep asking this to the audience "Are U ready?".. haha..I'm one of the fanatics of DX.. but now in the reality world,am I ready? today is 4th January and a have a few days left till 11th January.. 11.01.10 will be a turning point for me.. I going to MSU,to continue my further studies.. well,I'm simply the biggest investment for my parents..My parents spent so much on me and I don't know if I can show the best product. However,I've been granted with this opportunity, so I shall not waste it. I know I can do much better.. I should throw away all my bad attitudes.. hope I can shine... again
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